RAHEEL

A story in the news and doing rounds on the Internet is about a Muslim wedding in Lucknow, India last month, which was officiated by a woman and had female witnesses. (See Story at right.)

This unorthodox move is totally outside the norm, because Muslim marriages are traditionally officiated by a man, and also witnessed by males. Interestingly, the All India Muslim Personal law Board approved the ceremony led by a woman, much to the angst of Islamic seminaries.

Women rights activists see this as a “symbolic step forward for Muslim women” but the story has sparked a fiery controversy being denounced by conservative Islamic institutions as an affront to Islam. There are also personal comments posted on websites carrying the story. One comment reads “this sounds like an appropriate time to start a violent jihad..”

Well, I hate to inform the detractors and Jihadists that in order to grab all women activists, they’ll have to travel to North America. While I’m thoroughly impressed at this breakthrough in India, my sisters in the struggle need to know that there are others who are also working for dignity and equality for Muslim women as mandated by Islam and practiced by Prophet Mohammad. Sometimes a major step has to be taken outside the box, to break the status quo and smash the barriers of patriarchy.

Recently, I had the honour and privilege of performing my first Muslim marriage in Toronto. The challenge wasn’t just officiating over the marriage but presiding over an interfaith union. The boy is Muslim and the girl, a Jewish feminist who wanted women in the forefront. They approached me because they had heard about my leading prayer and thought I might want to add another “bullet point” to my bio!

I asked my religious mentor whether this is valid in Islam. He said “of course” explaining that the Muslim Marriage ceremony (called Nikah) is actually a pre-Islamic tradition taken from the Jews by the pagans and later adapted by the Muslims. He also explained that as long as the conditions of the contract are met, any respected member of the community could perform the Nikah.

As a passionate interfaith advocate and someone who has prayed respectfully in churches, synagogues, mosques and temples, I wanted this marriage to have an integrated spirit. After all, I explained to the families, when the Quran refers to Jews as “people of the book”, we have more in common than differences. So why not make this a bridge-building exercise and learn from each other? To give them credit, the young couple trusted me implicitly and the families agreed.

It didn’t take me long to learn that Jewish and Muslim marriages have some similarities. The ketubeh, the mahr or marriage gift and the presence of witnesses are some commonalities.

The wedding was very well organized and attended by about 250 people; mostly families of the bride and groom but also guests of diverse cultures and faiths. Everything from the décor (a Chuppah on stage) to the dress (the bride wore a traditional red Pakistani outfit) and the music (an eclectic ensemble of East and West) was reflective of both traditions.

On stage was the bride’s uncle, the woman who would perform the legal service, the female ring bearer and I. The bride’s uncle explained the significance of the Chuppah as well as smashing a glass by the groom.

When it came time for me to perform the Nikah, I have to admit I was nervous. I started by reciting opening of the Quran, (Fatiha) and once I translated it, I felt totally humbled and uplifted. I knew I was doing this for God and He was witness to my intention. I explained the procedure including that in Islam the woman gives the offer of marriage (the shocked looks on faces showed many people were unaware of this). Then I quoted from the chapter 49 of the Quran where we read “.. We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other”. What better way to know one another, I said, than the union of two people, two faiths and two cultures? Instead of a long-drawn sermon, I read from Rumi and the Nikah was completed by going through all the steps and ending in the final contract, which is part of both Jewish and Muslim traditions. It was a profound and moving experience.

Once the ceremony was over, there were the usual tears and congratulations. The family of the bride and groom hugged me and said they were very inspired by the ceremony, while skeptics patted me on the back.

But my efforts were fully validated when some young people, thrilled at the revolutionary idea of a woman presiding over a marriage, invited me to New York and Los Angeles to perform weddings – both Jewish and Muslim!

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Women-led Muslim wedding sparks debate in India

ABOVE: A Muslim marriage in northern India officiated by women has sparked an angry debate, with one of the most influential Islamic seminaries in South Asia calling it an affront to the religion.

Naish Hasan, the 28-year-old bride and a women's rights activist, and Imran Ali, the 41-year-old groom, were married last week in a ceremony that is believed to be the first of its kind in India.

Muslim marriages are traditionally officiated by a man, often a local community leader. The signing of the wedding contract is also witnessed by four Muslim males, two each for the bride and groom.

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